Baby Bonding

Posted on November 18, 2009. Filed under: Parenting |

After having a baby, one of the adjustments you undertake as a new Mom is your relationship with your husband, because this person is now a Daddy – a new role. The role comes with changes on their end too.

I spend most of my days taking care of our newborn son (and most of the evenings and nights too). Add laundry, cooking, and cleaning to the mix, new Moms barely have time for themselves, let alone their husband. My husband also works 14 hours a day. By the time he gets home and has dinner, he does not have much time for me either.
So how do you connect with your husband? You have heard it before. Spend at least 10 minutes each day together, have date night once a month, email or talk briefly during the workday, and/or go to bed at the same time so you can have a snuggle before falling asleep.
But how does your husband connect with the new baby? If my husband is gone 14 hours a day, by the time he gets home, our son is asleep. Weekends are not much better since I currently am the only one that can feed him (although the diaper changes are up for grabs).
First, see if you can create opportunities for your husband to feed the baby. It gives you a break and allows him to have that bonding. Also throw in a few diaper changes. Maybe make bath time solely a Daddy event.
Second, see if there are ‘baby’ classes for Dad in your area. In the metro-Boston area, there is a great class at Isis Maternity for Dads. Yes, Dads. It is called Time for Dads. It is a four week class that provides Dads with networking, knowledge and a new outing with the baby each week.
Lastly, send your husband an email a few times a week…from the baby. Have the baby ‘tell’ Daddy what they have been up to that day. Maybe even include a picture. It will make the ‘Daddy’ feel like he is part of the day with the baby.
All in all, a new baby brings a lot of work and a lot of joy. Make sure the new Mommy and Daddy work on the relationship with each other as well as their own relationship with the new baby. It all adds up to a growing and strengthening family. Totally worth it.

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